(514-05-19) Faulty stars
Summary: Arta and Cynrain do not have feelings for each other or do they? Sadness and grief ensues.
Date: 514, 19th of may
Related: A walk by the stream
arta cynrain 

Arta is enjoying the castle gardens frantically. She is pacing around the garden obviously waiting for something or somebody. She is wearing a well-tailored wool tunic. The tunic follows the contours of the body loosely, the hem falling low. It features a belted waist and long sleeves with slightly accentuated shoulders. The front of the wool tunic is double-breasted, drawing attention to the face. Arta is wearing her hair on a bun with a single loose strand of hair falling down onto her forehead. This costume was a suggestion from a friend as to what to wear for the wedding. It would had taken her a lot more time to pick the right wool garments to wear if she had not had any help.

Cynrain arrives wearing the colors of his House. The cloak adorning him is bright in its colors, likely he kept it packed when he traveled here. As he walks, he has his arms crossed as though he were in deep thought. The gardens prove to be of suitable grounds to think and wander. Looking up slowly, he notices Arta and his eyes widen with recognition. Approaching her, he stops to bow slightly, "Lady Arta.. I see that we have run into each other after all." he smiles warmly at her and adds, "I hope you are finding the festivities to your enjoyment."

Arta checks her honest at 13, she rolled 15.

Critical success!
Arta checks her deceitful at 7, she rolled 7.

Arta focuses her eyes on Cynrain, she beams brightly. She had expected to see him earlier and was beginning to lose hope that she would see him, that he was too preoccupied with his family but he does not need to know that! She nods serenely at Cynrain "I am glad to see you made it. Truth be told this is exactly the date i thought we would most likely meet. It gladdens my heart that we would meet like this. I have something i need to tell you about myself, more precisely about a fault in the stars." Arta seems relaxed as she says this but a perceptive person could notice that something is bothering her. "Shall we sit down for a while, Sir Cynrain?" she then adds "May i call you Cyn?"

Cynrain nods to Arta, a look of concern when she mentions a fault in the stars. "Of course, Lady Arta." he gestures for her to follow. They find a comfortable place near the walkway without being in it. After he takes a seat, he looks over at her asks, "What is it that you need to tell me, mi'Lady?"

Arta sits down next to Cynrain. She looks intently into his eyes for a moment while she is looking for words on how to put her predicament. Finally she reaches a conclusion and begins "Sir, there has to be a fault in our stars. The gods are cruel to toy with us like this." Arta is fighting back the urge to blush and just erupt into a fit of hysterical giggling, it is very tempting at a sincere moment like this, her years of study never prepared Arta for this. "I felt a spark during your brief visit to the Cholderton manor." Arta's efforts to fight back the blush prove fruitless, she is going to blush anyway at this point. "It cannot have escaped your notice that for some time past the conversation we felt a connection, i believe. A feeling more beautiful, more pure, more sacred." Arta swallows "Dare I name it? I know it is foolish and you are already betrothed to another woman and that i could never replace what you feel for her strongly." "Damn, what the stars own."

Cynrain lowers his head after he hears her words. A small smile shows on his lips. He nods his head gently before looking back up at her, "Lady Arta, you flatter me beyond words. That day I rode to your House, and the time spent walking around Cholderton was something that I did not forget as soon as I departed.

In truth, I've not had the compliment of someone stating such favor towards me as you just did. Furthermore, your risk in professing your feelings, exposing your heart, is like jousting without armor. Brave and valiant are your actions this day. Though, you know.. as well as I.. that commoners hold one privilege above us. Being of noble blood is a fine thing. To stand beyond the common folk in order to protect them and lead them.. is no small honor. But it is one that comes at a price. Our unions are often established through political arrangement. Love and affection are not something that we often have the privilege of knowing when we are paired with our mate. These are privileges of common blood. Obligation and duty are what keep our Houses sustained.. keep the blood lines pure.. and maintain peace between Houses. What was felt that day was a rose that cannot be watered.. cannot be permitted to bloom beyond what it was then. Sir Catryn is unique among the Lady Knights that I've encountered, nay, among all women I've encountered. Our betrothal was not something either of us were very excited for. However, obligation and the understanding of what our union brings keeps us from breaking such arrangement. Our Houses need to be allied and I cannot shame such by trying to nurture that which can never be. But there is more now than there once was between Sir Catryn and I… she is a dear comrade in arms to me now, as well as someone who will surrender her sword, something that she is passionate about more than anything else… in order to provide sons to House Durnford. No feeling in my breast could cause me to dishonor someone who would make such a sacrifice. And in truth, as her and I continue to grow within the same garden, I find myself feeling that which I didn't think possible for her. For someone who appeared to despise every choice I make and everything I do. Still I feel a love for her."

Cynrain looks downwards again and says, "There is another Durnford that you may find those sparks.. and one whom I can attest would do you better honor than I could. If you do not feel hatred for me for sharing these thoughts and words with you.. perhaps you will permit me to introduce you. I do not wish to leave you empty and with no hope in your heart. And while I cannot be the star you desire.. please make consideration of my suggestion. There has been no lady that I've wanted him to meet. But my Cousin, Sir Nerovan de Durnford, would be a worthy choice for you.. should you feel that spark for him that you felt for me… Perhaps you can have the very thing us nobles rarely gain, the sparks of something intense.. while also fulfilling obligation to the House."

Arta listens to Cynrain intently. Deeply considering every word he speaks. Arta already knew in some deeper level of understanding that Cynrain would not reciprocate her feelings but these very facts said by him still wound Arta and it shows very well outside. The expression on her face is something between a sad whimper and a grimace.

She tries to maintain eye contact with Cynrain but her efforts are futile. "I just wanted you to know this, i could not bear to forever keep my peace." Arta works to hold back the urge to beg for him to stay with her but at the same time Cynrain's words weight heavily on her conscious which is perhaps the only anchor that keeps her from doing just this. "I have no father and my brother is distant, have been ever since my return to the Cholderton manor, he shows no interest towards me or our manor. I am an independent woman, at least i pretend to be."

Arta shakes her head at no one in particular, she closes her eyes to avoid showing off her teary eyes but a one small teardrop finds its way through her eyelashes and rolls down her cheek slowly but deliberately. Arta then opens her eyes and takes a proper posture again "I might cry but i will be alright. I can not believe i actually considered seduction and to fall so low and as to spike your drink with a certain something. The gods ire is dangerous Sir Cynrain." Arta wipes her eyes so before she continues "I will miss the future that could have been, a home, children and a bed. But i realize now that you would be unhappy. We would have row after row, fight after fight and argument after argument. It just would not be a happy stable relationship as much as i would like it to be."

Arta sneezes " I am sorry Sir Cynrain, for everything." "I would be glad to meet your siblings but not now not tomorrow or next week." Finally Arta reaches the end. She blinks but does not look at Cynrain. "We have a chance for something truly unique, but you might just as well throw it away, i cannot blame you for falling in love with a Burcombe, i know you cannot risk a scandal for your own good and your families."

There's a heavy sigh from Cynrain at her words. Seeing her in this sort of pain appears to wound him. Here was a lady who actually showed interest in him, who wanted him for who he was, and went out on a limb to claim the impossible. She all but offered her heart to him and he repaid her display by slapping it from her hand. Even around one who professed care and adoration for him, he wounds her, disappoints her.

He takes a breath, it feels empty, was he breathing at all? His thoughts consume him then, the world spins for a moment before he rises to his feet once more and offers her a bow. "Please do not blame Durnford for my actions… I understand if you loathe me.. it is not a feeling I am unfamiliar with. In a place where every step I take is the wrong one with whoever I encounter.. to be able to be of benefit to my family is the only step I cannot afford to take incorrectly. Be it despise by one or grief and sadness by another, I am not worth the feelings, my lady.. I always step with my left foot first and only the Gods know why. Perhaps I for things I've done wrong in a past life." he smirks at that and says, "I will remove my despicable self from your sight.. do not waste tears on me.. I am not worth them." he turns and walks out of the garden, crossing his arms as moves. She deserved better than he, hopefully she sees that soon.

Arta says with a hint of sadness and finality in her voice. "Farewell, Sir Cynrain. I will meet you again with your sibling then."

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